Gee gurl make a desicion

Alright, I love Karl. I was going to move to Cambridge and live with him. Yea I said was, I changed my mind a week before I was supposed to go. I love him so freaking much, but I can't do nothing. I don't want to move, and he doesn't want to move back here. What to do? There's only one possibility left. We live where we want to live and end our relationship, and engagement. I've had many good times with him, and I will always remember those times.

I've realised that my decision to move to England only was a way for me to keep him. Somehow I knew that when he left for England in July, he was never to come back to Sweden. Then he grew insecure over there in England, and he didn't know if he wanted to have a relationship or if it would work out. He kept me waiting for his decision and it came. We broke up even though I in my desperation said I would move to England to be with him.

A couple of weeks passed during which we had only sporadic contact. Then suddenly he told me how much he missed me and that he realised that he loved me too much to let go. This was just the day before we went on our holiday and we decided to talk when I got home. I went on vacation and when I got home we talked. He asked if I still wanted to move to him and if I was serious. I said I was because I still was desperate not to loose him. After a week or so we came to the conclusion that we wanted to continue.

Then we started discussing when and how and all that. I had problems talking about it with my parents. Especially since they were already dissapointed in me for getting back together with Karl. Well it came out that I was moving, during a very loud argument with my parents which I caused. Several discussions and arguments followed up until a week before I was going. I had already resigned at McDonald's and from my paper job, the ticket was booked, and that was about it. I had no case, not much money and no way of getting all my stuff to England.

The following arguments/discussions was a way for my parents to try to wake me up. Finally and quite miraculously I understood. I don't want to move. I have problems enough to take care of. I hoped that he still loved me too much to let go, but obviously he didn't because he is not going to move back here, and now our path are going in different directions