Shopping delirium fades away

Around eleven o'clock I wake up and stretches in my big bed. Oh how I love those sleep-in mornings when the phone lies quet on it's shelf and I am allowed to wake up whenever I feel like waking up. Well I get up take my time eating breakfast, having a shower and dress and then I was off to town determined to shop some shoes. I had seen a pair I wanted the week before when I was out shopping birthday presents for my siblings, but I decided on waiting. I shouldn't have done that though. The pair or pairs, rather, one pair cost 100 swedish kronors in black (on sale) and the other both in grey or in black cost 200 swedish kronors.



Well since I liked both pairs I decided to go for the cheaper ones, but I was foolish to think that the shop would still have them a week later. I wasn't sad at all the other pair was also very nice, and I knew that I would take the grey ones because grey is something I was determined to buy more of. In the store trying the shoes out they were absolutely fabulous. Into town I went and there I found a very beautiful dress also on sale. Ha! I thought and bought two dresses one black and one grey for only 98 kronors.

Anyway the happiness I have felt all day is gone now. Why did I agree on changing shifts and taking Jonathan's nightshift?

WHY?

Day after

Yesterday was one of those horrible day you don't really want to remember at all. Just wake up the day after and blissfully ignore it. However I cannot just ignore it. Finally after quite some time I was able to talk to Karl properly and it was such a relief but at the same time very upsetting. I don't know why but I was in a horrible temper after that, wheter it was my frustration subsiding a bit or me being reluctant to go to work, I don't know.

Among injuries

The nightshift went ok. Friday night was a bit dull, but saturday brought silliness due to lack of sleep. Maybe also that was the factor to why I was careless and slipped on the wet stairs while we were closing the underlobby in the morning after the restaurant closed. My left elbow is now bearin a cut and my ass a big black and blue bruise. The biggest bruise I've ever seen in my whole life, it's bigger than my two hands put together. Even though the tiredness was mighty I never felt really tired until two hours before I was off, but surprisingly I made my way home and out with the papers feeling exhausted. Sunday passed quickly as I slept until nine and then stayed awake two or three hours before I slept until 10 the day after.

Exploding anger

My heart is thumping fast, I'm angry beyond anything I've felt for a very long time. This caused by lack of support. He promised he would be there for me and help me through hard times. But obviously I'm not getting the support I need. The only thing I really needed him to do was to talk to me. I can understand that the week has been hard for him with hard work and lots of over-time and on top of all social network such as training, friends and family.

I guess I'm just angry right now because for the last week there's only been brief talks mainly about what happened during the day, nothing else. Right now I'm in a very needy period. It's doing my head in, to use one of his precious expressions. I guess my anger will fade as soon as I'm fresh and slept enough hours, as I've only slept 1 1/2 hours today, and I'm about to start another nightshift plus paper round.

I will be sleeping like a rock when i get home around 12-13 tomorrow. I'll give myself a couple of hours wake up stay awake for a few hours and then a normal night. Yay

My frustrating day

Long day at work today. Yucky morning as it was, however I came to my senses and understood that I do like it anyway. Early mornings mean opening the restaurant, i.e opening of the kitchen, lobby and the front. This is approximated to two hours before opening hours, two hours that goes by pretty quickly leaving a feeling of no work. As for today when I was supposed to work from 8.00-15.30, two hours rushed away, leaving me with 5.5 hours including 30 minutes of brake. No big deal. The day being rainy, left us all in a bit of a frustrating state as in periods we had nothing to do, the restaurant was lacking people. Ok, stock up! Ok Stock up done. Now what?

Leaving already 15.00 I took the train back home, which fortunately wasn't packed like it was this morning. Only one single train arrived at Svågertorp in the early morning rush to work. Let's put it this way, the train was packed to bursting point. When the train slowed down or accelerated one didn't even need to hold on, you stood straight up anyway. After the doors were closed behind the last crammed people at Svågertorp a person in the speaker tell us that due to graffiti vandalism the other train which this was going to be conected to had to be taken out of traffic due to regulations of Skånetrakien. He proceeded with "You might find this silly but this is the decision of Skånetrafiken" and "I know it's not easy for you in there"

Back home here I have been reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and of course updated the blogg. I'll wrap it up here, saying it's been a frustrating day. I'm off to be and some bed-time reading. Tomorrow is pay day aka shopping day and then nightshift weekend =( sucks

Another rainy evening

I can hear the small splatter of raindrops on my window. In one way I like it, I think it's cosy to crawl up in bed with a good book or in front of the tv watchin a movie when the rain's pouring down. The latter should be done in company with someone you care. I think summer is at last defeated, as i'm waking up every morning shivering even though I'm wrapped in my very cosy goose feather cover. Walking around in the appartment with only a top and shorts is not an option either. Today my wolly socks were taken out of their hiding place and put on my dead cold feet.

Even though I normally suffer from some kind of depression when the weather gets colder and yellow and red leaves fall to the ground, I find myself enjoying the colorfull heaps around the paths, not feeling depressed at all. Too many episodes of Sex and the city, and I see visions of a colourful New York with a longing moan in my tummy. I want to be there, experience it all, and of course it wouldn't hurt to be in Sarah Jessica Parker's shoes, just for once. In times like these I drift away in day dreams, longing to be somewhere else. Might this be called a depression anyway? It might be that I do feel depressed, though supressing it, infusing a faulty impression of only simple day dreaming. Rather indifferent to the weather change, I feel that there's just life as it has been for a very long time now.

Oh how I wish I had a solid strong window sill to sit on...

Gah

Horrible! That's the only real word for today

Summer's defeat

Today was a very cold day, the wind was blowing harder than ever and the breeze was so cold. Earlier than I can remember does it seem like the summer after a very feeble try had to give way for the autumn. However at the moment both of them seem to have some kind of battle. One day the sun shines and one can actually wear long legged pants and a sweater ( long arms of course) without any chance of shivering. Then the other day, like today, when one dresses like a sunny day the autumn wins the battle and cold raindrops soak you when you are getting your way home. The day after one dresses for a cold day with a coat and warmer clothes. What happens then, the sun shines and warm up the air makin you sweat in all your warm clothes

I am sure that we will get an exceptionally early autumn this year. The summer is fighting a losing battle. When autumn puts in it's true powers it's not going to take long before summer is defeated. Yes this year's weak summer will be easily defeated.

Yucky early mornings

After three days without work, I'm back again for another five days. The worst of all now since the schools stated is that they've put me on dayshifts. A couple of months ago I wouldn't mind, but, however all summer I have been working most evenings and nightshifts and thereby grown pretty used to and comfortable with sleep-ins and lazy days. I guess it's good to start the day early and then have the rest of the evening to chill out, but every morning when my alarm wake me up (either 6 or 8 o'clock), I curse the person putting me on those dayshifts.

Well there's actually one good thing with having the dayshifts, all the young people working there is in school and then the manager's most often put me on the front, which I love even though I dreaded the day when they were going to train me on the front. Actually I'm quite impressed by myself. I had an hour or so training on the cashier on a nightshift then I mastered the whole night and the night after, of course with back up at times.

Back in bookheaven

This afternoon has been spent reading piled up against my many pillows in the bed. It was a long time since I really felt that desperate need to read. Instead of watchin scrubs before I go to bed I read a couple of pages. My library card has been fixed now, and when I was there anyway I borrowed that fantasy book I never had the time to finish and had to return to Malmö Borgarskolas bibliotek plus another book that caught my attention. this particular book I actually saw a couple of weeks ago at Lagerhaus as a paperback book, and apparently it's pretty new. Well the cover was pink with a very tasty lookin cup of latte. I think it's one of those romantic books taking place in manhattan. Well I'll see if I like it. Jack said it's a good book when I came to work.

What's the future bringing

Maybe I shouldn't make any promises, because I haven't really seen a sight of that promised post more than a week ago.

Been working a lot the last couple of days and to me it seem like the days just passed in a blur. The same thing happens everyday. But at the same time i move forward.
Last weekend I worked nightshift meaning I started at 23.00 at friday and worked until 7.00 saturday morning. Frankly we weren't done in time which we never are after a nightshift so I had to stay an extra half hour, so i wasn't home until 9.00 and then it was just to get ready to go to the Diploma Ceremony. That was quite fun actually, teachers bringing up old memories and stories about us. Then finally we got our proof of our very hard work the mighty diploma itself which is a huge merit in itself and even better if the grades were fairly good.

A nice lunch was served in the school's dining hall. I can honestly say that I reluctantly left the dining hall and the school itself after a couple of hours of memories. Even though this ceremony has been awaited and being the centre of day dreams through these three years of IB it was a very sad day.

Now we are released into this world to find out what we are going to do next. Some of us already have everything planned whilst others don't have a clue. Me myself only know that I will continue work. The freedom has made me confused and less determined on what I want. Honestly I don't know what I want to do anymore. For now I'm happy working and even if the work is not a very glamorous one I think 130 SEK an hour is great plus all the extra paid evening, night and weekend hours.

Ok now I am going to go to bed and continue reading Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban. I'm reading the books all over again, before I am gonna move on to finishing the Saphire rose by David Eddings and then read all my own unread books. Hey I've got more time on my hands now =)